i am me

I am a small town quarter of Filipino- American that shows only a girl bursting to scream that I am not someone to be picked on. The quiet girl that sits in front of the classroom. The one that ignores the whispers behind her back and locks at the fact that its life.  I am the quiet teacher pet that has a hidden personality. The one that people ignore because when I speak it comes off as offensive or annoying but in most cases I don't mean it that way. I am independent and defensive of those who manage to wiggle their way into my "family". The one that finds broken things and fixes them up. I am someone strong that looks week because I don't show and tell. I am the girl with the almost curved eyes that change color but portray no true feeling, always lying to its reader though sometimes it shows true emotion. The one that despite this finds a way to express her feelings I am the one that sticks out in any crowds. I am a reader that prefers the perfect quiet of my room to a loud crowd. I am the shower singer that closes her eyes in public and seals her lips on stage. The one in the back the one that sings lightly not really wanting to be heard. I am not some average Joe that sees stuff in black and white. I am a writer, designer and photographer who watch from the shadows capturing the action of real life and not some soap opera drama. Catching the hidden fears of the silent kid and the shown hate of the bully. The drunken dad yelling at his girl. Most importantly I am me because I chose not to conform to society with either my jeans to tight or my shirt cut to low the one that people like to talk about because I never wear makeup or try a different hairstyle. I am not the one to be considered curvy just some girl with thighs and a small chest the one that is advanced in social studies but lacking in mathematics. The one who has aged spiritually and mentally a little too early and easily labeled "old soul". But innocent minded in things my some of pervert friends say. the one that couldn't be athletic to save her life but definitely not someone to be labeled defenseless. I am a twin to someone born two years after me.  I am a contradiction in itself. I sing by hearing but am partially deaf. I am a visual artist but have issues with my fine motor skills. I am a writer with a written expression disorder. i can have a firm voice but a shy mind. the most important fact is that i am me Because I am Cristeta, I am a Sawin and I am a small town quarter of a phillpeeno-American